|News Editor: baconslab
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for the American Way
Insult to Veterans, Reporting from the Vietnam Wall
the Rich Pay Taxes - A Response
Bush: I Had a Dream... a Very Disturbing Dream
(BCNN) President Bush used the occassion of Martin Luther
King Day to reveal a recent harrowing dream which has interfered with his
pursuit of an appropriate vanity war to herald the coming ecomomic boom.
"I had a Dream," moaned Bush at a morning
press conference, "a very disturbing dream."
Details of the dream were tightly held secrets
as the Presidents staff acted swiftly to deflect inquiry into the specifics
of the nightmare.
Sources close to Bush insist that the President's
dream did not contain a large group young, black males nor did it in any
way involve his country club in Midland Texas.
Sigmund Freud could not be reached for comment.
Nation Gripped By Liebermania
(BCNN) Media outlets nationwide are struggling to cope with the demand
for coverage of the budding Presidential campaign of Connecticut
Senator Joe Lieberman.
"There's no doubt about it," mused Fox news
anchor Brett Hummous, "the nation is awash in Liebermania."
White House sources, speaking under the
condition of anonymity, indicated that the Rove machine considers Lieberman
a threat to the Administrations hopes for a second term.
"Karl is shitting his pants," said one senior
aide. "We've had many challenges over the pat few years but Lieberman,
with all his charisma, Is something we haven't had to deal with and frankly,
Several Washington Interns have expressed
interest in fellating Lieberman.
Living the Lie
I sit here in utter amazement that we are
about to go to war and it's all such a lie.
We are on the wrong side of history for the first time
since Vietnam. This is a totally
artificial war to cover up massive fraud on the part
of our government officials. America is being looted and this war is nothing
but a cover for a crime against freedom itself.
We are a nation that is living a lie and
millions of people are about to be slaughtered over that lie. I can not
live this lie and I will not. We have become the enemy. We are a threat
to freedom and liberty and we as a nation should stop and resist this and
people in our government that we will not live that lie
and they will not loot our future.
The time has come for all honest and honorable
citizens who stand for the values that make this country great to rise
up and make our voices heard in a way that the looters can not ignore.
America is a war - be we are our own enemy. It's time to quit living the
What we are doing is so very very
wrong and we absolutely must stop!
San Francisco, CA.
Cheney To Visit North Korea, Eat Human Flesh
Sources close to the White House are speculating that Vice President
Dick Cheney may soon be dispatched to North Korea as part of a diplomatic
mission designed to head off what many see as an inevitable clash over
The North Korean's renewed interes in the production of Nuclear Weapons.
The Administration has had uneasy relations
with the North Koreans since the President declared them to be part of
the "Axis of Evil" which fuels global terror.
It is hoped that Cheney may be able to find
common ground with the nation's leaders as he, like many North Koreans,
is a devoted cannibal.
"It may be hard to get Dick to come back
once he gets a taste of the Korean people," said one administration official.
Cheney could not be reached for comment.
In case You Missed It
Joe Strummer's obit from The Nation is here