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Subject: "My name is Gordon_Guano, and I think I might be a bad liberal" First topic | Last topic
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Gordon_GuanoSun Aug-13-17 03:06 AM
Member since Apr 30th 2002
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"My name is Gordon_Guano, and I think I might be a bad liberal"


As someone whose awareness of politics began with Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot and then had that sense honed in the smashmouth heyday of this forum, I have always thought that the best kind of Democrat to be was a BartCop Democrat. Bart's yellow dog Okie iconoclasm held a great appeal to this Southern boy trying to live blue sensibilities in a red state. Bart wasn't afraid to buck the conventional liberal wisdom when he talked about keeping his .40 cal Baby in the glove box. And Bart also understood that, no matter how badly they were being used for evil ends by evil men, you support the troops, because they are us.

So I'm here today, the prodigal son that nobody missed, because I'm wondering if anyone else feels left behind by the party? As in, I don't feel like I have to apologize for being born with a white* penis, and this makes me a monster. When I saw the students at Evergreen College demanding the Dean keep his hands at his side, I thought of a spoiled three year old screaming that they hate daddy for not letting them eat a can of frosting for supper. And last year, when I saw Black Lives Matter swarm Bernie's podium-Bernie freaking Sanders!-who had gotten arrested in civil rights marches before even their absent fathers were born, I saw the hand of Hillary sabotaging the only decent human being I was ever likely to see run for President in my lifetime. (Sorry Big Dog, I loved your economy and budget hawkishness, but philandering is still a shitty thing to do.) And maybe I'm just old and out of it, but I don't see the fight to recognize "swampgender" as a real thing as the next frontier in civil rights. I'm pretty sure it's actually offensive and demeaning to transgender people, but I've been called a monster for saying that in other circles (I'm looking at you, Balloon Juice).

So, I have a confession to make. Last November, I made a protest vote against incumbents all the way down the ballot. With the exception of the Presidential race, this was pretty much the same straight Dem ticket that I've voted since my first time in 1996. But knowing that deep red North Carolina was a lost cause anyway, my Presidential vote was for the human Cheeto. But that's not the worst part.

Our Trumpenführer may yet cede our planet to those damned dirty apes**, but I'm actually kind of enjoying his Trumpenreich in a weird way. Remember how the media whores sucked up to Dubya, and never really held Obama's feet to the fire for things like drone strike assassinations? Well,they're finally doing their job. It's too bad that the Emperor is happy to shamelessly let L'il Don flap in the wind and call them fake news, but they're finally trying to do their job,kinda. (Pizzagate would be a far more productive line of inquiry than a Russian election connection, guys.) And Trump is only too happy to take to Twitter and make Mitch McConnell eat a plate of shit for not having anything to repeal and replace Obamacare with, and all the Kentucky Turtle can do is grit his teeth and shrug. If a Dem President was doing that I would be ecstatic. And how about Trump holding up that LGBT flag at the RNC? That was yuge, a major shift in the Overton window in favor of the good guys.

But the sweetest part is the schadenfreude that comes from seeing horrible people lose their minds at the orange clown. People like Linda Sarsour. Sorry, Linda, there's no room for female circumcision in the melting pot. People like Ta-Nehisi Coates, who now spends all his time hating one white person instead of all of them. And college feminists, who have completely lost the thread on what equality looks like. Hint: when 60% of degrees are being earned by women, you've actually surpassed equality and beaten the patriarchy. And if the streets are safe enough for your Slutwalk, you don't actually have a rape problem.

Too long; didn't read summary: People who unironically call themselves social justice warriors made me vote for Trump. I don't regret it, but I do feel kind of bad because of all the good times I've had here. Thanks if you've made it this far! I'll check back for questions and conversation if anyone is interested and this doesn't get me banned.

I love you all!

"P.S.---Dick Cheney reminds me of Skeletor."

- Huey Freeman

*I found out via 23andme last year that I am mostly Native American and Hispanic, so I actually only have white-passing privilege. Kinda sucks to find out at 40, though. I really would have liked some of that casino money.
**although I have a very low opinion of the Black Lives Matter movement, seeing it as a transparent fraud that enriches a few people while many useful idiots endanger themselves, this is not a BLM joke.


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My name is Gordon_Guano, and I think I might be a bad liberal [View all] , Gordon_Guano, Sun Aug-13-17 03:06 AM
RE: My name is Gordon_Guano, and I think I might be a bad liberal, Grayfox2, Aug-13-17 05:38 AM, #1
Trump is not as bad as George W. Bush., DavidLind, Aug-13-17 06:52 AM, #2
"Grit and sense" typifies the BC Democrat, imo, Gordon_Guano, Aug-17-17 01:34 AM, #4
Yup I agree, Buzzcook, Aug-13-17 06:21 PM, #3
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